Hypocrites and Assholes

So the other day I had a MSN conversation with Cutie. No, I have not 'tapped that' yet. Dude keeps inviting himself over at the most inopportune times, like when I've been lazing around all day, have no makeup on, and am rocking the pj's.

And for the record, he is not my person. By my person, I mean the person that I'm supposed to be with, like in a forever sense. He's adorable, like an eager little puppy dog who wants some attention. If Cutie and I happen, it will strictly be a no-strings-attached deal, and I'm completely fine with that. The Beast just needs to be fed.

Cutie messaged me, freaking out because he'd just discovered that his ex had slept with two guys from the internet (another reason I'm not interested in a relationship with him — he is SO not over his ex yet).

Redhead: So?
Cutie: So?! The thought is driving me crazy! That's not the kind of person she is!
Redhead: Cutie, you broke up. She is free to do whomever she wants.
Cutie: But random internet guys? That just makes me sick inside. I'd rather she have a new boyfriend, not be running around all slutty like.
Redhead: Don't be a fucking hypocrite. How many girls have you slept with since you broke up?
Cutie: That's what I need to hear.
Redhead: Don't get angry with me because I'm calling you out on your bullshit.
Cutie: Mad? No, I'm not mad. You're right, I AM being a hypocrite. I need to hear this.
Redhead: Oh. Sorry. Anyways, why is it that guys have a rebound (or two, or three) and get a high five, while girls do the same and get called a slut? Everyone has a right to do what they need to do to repair the damage after a bad breakup.
Cutie: I fucked up. I was an asshole. She told me I didn't make her feel good about herself when we were together. Now it's too late and she's sleeping with randoms and doesn't want a relationship.
Redhead: If that's what she needs to do to feel good about herself and get over her relationship with you, then that is her right. She feels empowered by the ability to have unemotional, no-strings-attached sex — like a man. I've both been there and done the same. There is nothing wrong with that. Leave her be.
Cutie: But say we had a chance to get back together? I couldn't even look at her knowing what she's done!
Redhead: Cutie, you broke up. You're not getting back together; she is making that abundantly clear. You need to deal with this and move on. And who told you she's sleeping around?
Cutie: She told me.
Redhead: WHAT? Dude, you need to STOP TALKING TO HER.
Cutie: I know. I'm coming over.
Redhead: Oh no you're not. I am not a revenge fuck.
Cutie: :(

Why are the really hot ones always so incredibly stupid? Cutie needs to learn that if we do this, we do this on MY terms. Wow, I'm all drunk on control (insert evil laugh here)!

I never heard from The Athlete again. My boss now calls him "The Fucking Asshole" (she is super apologetic for setting me up with him, not that it is in any way her fault. She won't see him until she goes up to her cottage next summer, and will likely get drunk and yell at him). I don't get it — why tell me he was glad that my boss set us up? Why invite me to a Jays game in two weeks? Why ask if he could call me? If he wasn't interested, he should have told me he had a good time and left it at that. I hate stupid mind games, so I've deleted him from my cell and Facebook.

I know a couple of you thought that I should contact him, but the ball was left in his court. This time around, I'm not sending pathetic e-mails or messages, hoping for some kind of delayed interest or lame explanation on their part. If a guy does not contact me, I am not wasting my time. A friend recently told me, "You're too good to have to be chasing after guys." I like to think that he's right, so the guys are going to have to chase after me.

Tentative Lavalife date on Thursday night. Cross your fingers for me!


  1. Anonymous1:05 PM

    Hey, where's the Wedding Story? I was promised wedding story!

  2. I'm in the middle of writing it. Soon, I promise!

  3. Anonymous3:18 PM

    Love any post that has "tapped that" and "The Beast just needs to be fed" in it... thanks for sharing... - tiki

  4. Eww...thats a little too involved with the ex. Glad you set him straight and stuck up for all the ladies who feel its their right to get over someone by getting under someone else!!

  5. Anonymous1:08 PM

    I don't know what's better: that you're doing such a good job of seizing the power games by the short-and-curlies, or that you're referring to your cooch as The Beast.