Puma Town

So I've had this online friend I'll call Cutie for about three years. We met on Lavalife and started talking on MSN right about the time I met Fucktard, and then Cutie started dating someone, so we kept each other around as friends. He's an animator, and we've always talked a lot about art and design.

Cutie has always been super flirty with me, even though he had a girlfriend, and the flirting went into overdrive when she broke up with him about two months ago. He wanted to get together and hang out, but I put it off. As someone who went through a nasty breakup in January, I knew he needed to take some time for himself, deal with his issues and get his shit together. Cutie wasn't one to take no for an answer, so recently, we started getting into these big MSN fights. He'd get all cranky if I had plans, and hated the fact that I'm not really a fan of going out on weeknights (he works freelance, so his schedule is pretty open), as I have to be up at 5:30am. He started calling me the girl with the excuses, and then I wouldn't hear from him for a few days. Finally, I got fed up and called his cell phone (he had given me his number while drunk one night). He freaked out and wouldn't answer, so I decided he was bluffing and didn't actually want to meet up. Back and forth this went for weeks, and then yesterday he tells me that he's not going to talk to me anymore unless I agree to meet up and be "real life friends" with him. He had recently injured his foot and either wanted to hang out at his place or mine, because he couldn't do a lot of walking, and was to keep his foot elevated as much as possible. I couldn't decide what to do. Go to his place? I'd never met him before, but I had been talking to him for three years. Have him come to my place? Hmmm. What if he was a crazy person? What if I couldn't stand him? It took me awhile to decide, and although probably unwise, I agreed to let him come over because he didn't have cable at his new apartment and wanted to watch the premières of The Simpsons and Family Guy.

Now, don't think that I'm THAT stupid. I hid all my valuables and stashed knives and pepper spray in random (but accessible) locations around my apartment. I'm aware it sounds crazy, but it was oddly comforting.

Cutie texted me when he got to my neighbourhood (he rode his bicycle on a bad foot, lol), and I walked down to the corner to meet him. I figured, if he seemed like a crazy person, I would push him into oncoming traffic and run. When I saw him, his face lit up and he waved and I could not believe how cute he was. Totally my type. Dammit.

As an animator, he was all excited about my MacBook Pro and played around with it for awhile. He's a couple years younger than me (27, I think?) and kinda immature, but he's off the wall, witty, and makes me laugh a lot. The thing is, it was totally comfortable, like hanging out, watching tv and talking with an old friend. I could make fun of him and vice versa. I wasn't really a fan of any of the shows we watched (sorry, but The Simpsons hasn't been decent in years), and I teased him about his crappy taste in television. He'd counter with jabs about my mean sense of humour.

As the night wore on, I noticed Cutie moving closer and closer to me. Then he tried to tickle me, and was all disappointed to find out I'm not ticklish. It was like high school, and I had a hard time not laughing out loud. I'm almost thirty, for god's sakes.

I don't even know how it happened, but suddenly he grabbed me and I was straddling him and we were making out like crazy. He was tugging at my clothes and I had to hit the brakes and breathe. I just met this guy (sorta), and I couldn't be THAT girl, no matter how attracted to him I was. Could I be any more of a Puma?

1. An attractive woman in her late 20s or early 30s. She is a pre-cougar/urban cougar.
2. A woman who is not quite old enough to be a cougar, but still likes to date/mate with younger men.

It took all my willpower, and it was painful (for both of us, I think), but we managed to stop groping at each other like a couple of teenagers. We talked for a bit and it was getting late, so I walked him outside and gave him a hug and he totally squeezed my ass. Le sigh.

To add fuel to the fire, Cutie is insanely well endowed. I feel I cannot be held accountable for my actions if we hang out again. He woke up The Beast (aka my libido), and it's all hungry and roar. TMI?


  1. Anonymous11:18 AM

    Dude, you need to tap that. - Angie

  2. Dude, it's just a matter of time. Like I said, roar.

  3. Just for the record, "...if he seemed like a crazy person, I would push him into oncoming traffic and run" = best plan of action EVER.

    Also: I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this one. It's about @%$(*^% time. ^_^

  4. Anonymous8:40 PM

    LOL.."and its all hungry and roar" Classic!!