Mr. Pushy

Wow, I never thought I'd have some current material so soon, but here I am.

You know what sucks? Last time I did this, Facebook didn't even exist. So now everyone who has a conversation with you wants to add you to Facebook. It makes me feel naked, like my entire life is exposed to them, and I'm not liking this.

Alright, so the story goes like this: As you all know, I am back on Lava and POF. Nobody caught my eye until a guy I will call TT sent me an e-mail. 32, separated for two years, software programmer, has cats. He seemed pretty cute and intelligent, so I sent him a message back, asking him why he didn't just get a divorce already? The ex was a bitch, was dating someone less than a month after their marriage ended, and he didn't want to make things easy for her. They were, however, beginning divorce proceedings. I could live with that, so we continued to e-mail back and forth over the course of last weekend.

TT seemed like a super nice guy and we had a lot in common, so when he asked for my e-mail and phone number, I gave them to him. We had a two hour conversation on the phone Sunday night, and he would sometimes ask me difficult questions, like, "What is one thing that you don't want me to know about you?" or the horriby broad, "Tell me more about yourself?". He wanted to know what I was looking for, and I told him I'd eventually like to meet THE person for me, but I was interested in friendship and casual dating as a starting point. He added me to Facebook, and we agreed to meet up on Monday or Wednesday night.

I had a doctor's appointment in the north end of the city on Monday, and I had planned to head home afterwards, but I got called into work for an "emergency" (it never is). TT had said he would call Monday afternoon and see how my day was going, so when he did, I let him know that I expected to be at the office late, and would prefer to meet up on Wednesday night. About an hour later, I received a text message from TT, saying that he would be at the mall near my office, and would I like to meet up with him for a few minutes? My cubicle mate heard me gasp out loud, and we decided I couldn't go because a) I was wearing my glasses and b) I had no back-up makeup for touch-ups in my purse. She told me to tell him later that I had been in a meeting, and didn't get the message until late. He tried to call me once, but I just let it go to voicemail.

Later that night, TT called me to talk, and during the course of the conversation, he informed me that he has bad credit due to his ex-girlfriend, is about $40,000 in debt, and is considering bankruptcy (which he didn't seem to think was a big deal).


To some of you, my panic won't make much sense until I write the story of my most current ex. The short version: my ex was in debt. A LOT of debt. Probably about $50,000+ worth of debt. It was so bad I had to force him into credit counseling, and I was constantly covering for him when he couldn't make ends meet. It was awful and stressful and we constantly fought about money. I made a promise to myself that I would NEVER put myself in that situation again. Ever.

Immediately, TT's stock plummeted. I wasn't even sure I wanted to meet him anymore, but he was so nice that I was really torn. He was planning to spend Wednesday at the Ex with his family, and suggested that I head down there after work and we could just walk around for a bit. I wasn't sure if this was the best idea for a first meeting, but I agreed to think about it and he said he would call Tuesday night to finalize plans.

Tuesday night I was supposed to go visit a travel agent with Stef (we're going to Cuba in the new year!), but she had to cancel and I had stuff to do at home, so I didn't let TT know that. On my way home from work, he sent me a text message:

TT: So I wanna know whats the most important thing to you in life?
Redhead: Family. Cheesy but true.
TT: Thats not true...If that was the case you would live in london.
Redhead: I beg to differ. Why do I have to live in the same city for them to be the most important thing? If I need them, they are here and vice versa. I'm not me without them.
TT: I agree with you on that. I was just thinking whats important to me. And it seems we both really dont know. I was thinking that I should have that one driveing force.

Riiiiight. I let him know I was getting on the subway and would lose signal, so I'd talk to him later. I picked up some groceries and started making dinner. My phone is this horrible battery-challenged Motorola Razr (I'm holding out for a Telus iPhone), so I plugged it in to charge. After washing some dishes, I heard my phone beeping. Text message:

TT: Sorry I was having drinks with friends at my place. Wish you were here.

Uhm, I hadn't even met him yet, so that weirded me out a little. Ten minutes later:

TT: No response?

Ten minutes after that:

TT: Jerk where age you? (I assume what was supposed to be 'are', and I think 'Jerk' was supposed to be funny, but wasn't, really).

Okay, seriously? As far as he knew, I was out with my friend. I don't generally do a lot of texting when I'm out with people, because it's just rude. The whole thing really bothered me, and I spoke to both Stef and my mom, who agreed that I should not meet TT. He was just being too pushy and clingy, and his financial situation would prevent things from going any further anyways. I couldn't help but feel so GUILTY though; I hate hurting people's feelings and I know it's something I just have to get over.

I decided to leave it for the night, and went to bed around eleven. I've been suffering from bouts of middle insomnia (I can fall asleep easily, but wake up numerous times during the night and have trouble falling back asleep) during the past eight months. Around midnight, I was woken by a text message:

TT: How come no response?

I was PISSED. TT was aware of my insomnia, and I found it incredibly inconsiderate to send someone a message at that hour, knowing that I could possibly be asleep. I tossed and turned for a good hour and a half before drifting off again.

The next day I waited to hear from him (especially since we were supposed to meet up that night), fully prepared to send him "the e-mail" as a response, but I haven't heard a word. Maybe he got the hint after I ignored his messages?

Now I just need to delete him from Facebook. If that's not being obvious, I don't know what is?

I haven't even met anyone in person, and already I'm yelling NEXT!

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