He shoots...he does NOT score!

Okay, I'm aware that title could be taken in a very wrong way. Ew.

Patrick was one of the first guys I started talking to when I signed up with Plenty of Fish. From his picture, he seemed quite attractive, and reminded me of a guy I dated a long time ago. Our online conversations always went very well, but I always got the feeling he didn't quite "get" my sense of humour. One Friday night I had a friend over, and he kept sending messages that he had to ask me something. When I was finally able to talk to him, he invited me to go to a Leafs game with him the next day. A LEAFS GAME! I'm a Leafs fan (we're not talking hardcore here, but a fan) and I had never in my life been to a Leafs game, so I immediately jumped at the chance to go! I was SO excited! However, if there's one thing I hate, it's eating food on the first date. I have a very touchy stomach, and the whole food thing is just messy and awkward, so I avoid it at all cost. I told Pat that I would eat dinner beforehand and then meet up with him before the game because I didn't like eating on the first date. He seemed cool with it and we agreed to meet outside the ACC.

Game day and I was standing in the pouring rain, smoking my nerves away, and looking carefully at every guy who walked past me (they all gave me odd looks in return...must have been wondering who the psycho chain-smoker looking like she's about to barf all over her boots was). When it was fifteen minutes past the time we had agreed to meet, I took out my cell phone and called the number he had given me. No answer. Then I called my friend Stef to keep me company while I stood there feeling like a loser. Her and I were talking away when he walked up and the first thought that popped into my head was: NO! Haha, it's never good when the "little" voices in your head SCREAM something. He was REALLY skinny (didn't have a hope in hell of passing the thigh test) and looked little like his picture. I knew it was going to be a long night.

Pat gave me a quick hug and we headed into the ACC, making small talk. The little voices continued to scream NO! and I continued to tell them to shush, that's not polite. His voice made me cringe - it was like an Irish accent gone very wrong, and just made him sound stupid, which I didn't think was too far from the truth :-

We had seats in the gold section, right behind the goalie :-O!!! I KNEW that those seats were far from cheap and I was already feeling guilty about it. He ordered a beer and asked if I wanted anything. I told him no, I was fine. He continued to make small talk with me and ordered another drink. Asked if I wanted anything. I told him no. Being at the game in person was SO much better than watching the game on tv - I was totally enthralled in it! He asked me again and again if I wanted food and again and again I told him no. During intermission (LOL, is that what it's called? I'm such a girl) he told me that he was going to the washroom and getting me some food on the way back. AGAIN I told him, "No, I ate before I came. Thanks, but I'm fine, REALLY." While he went off to the washroom, I texted Stef a big NO!

He was all into the game and jumping up and cheering and booing and I was just smiling awkwardly at him. I had already come to the following conclusions: 1) He's stupid; 2) He'll NEVER understand my sense of humour; 3) I would walk all over him. He jabbed me with his elbow a few times, and patted my knee once - a sure sign he liked me (I cringed).

The game ended and he wanted to go for drinks, which I agreed to because I felt so bad he brought me to a Leafs game and I wasn't interested in him. On the way to the bar, I went into a washroom and started texting Stef (who had sent me a message asking if I was okay) that everything was fine, but this guy was not at all my type! Musta been funny to anyone in the washroom - hearing me text furiously in a washroom stall :D At the bar at Jack Astor's on Front, he put back two more HUGE glasses of beer while I had one mixed drink, and he asked me if my drinks were hitting me. This made me uncomfortable because I assumed this meant HIS drinks were hitting HIM.

We talked for a bit (a lot of awkward silence) and I find out he's 29 and still living at home. You already know my stand on this. And then he asked one of the strangest questions I've gotten thus far: "Has anyone you dated ever hated your family?" Uhm...WHAT?! I must have given him a funny look because he started telling me that a number of girls he dated did not get along with his mother. Yes, THIS is what a girl wants to hear on the first date. Boy needed to learn how to filter.

He told me that he couldn't have another drink because then he wouldn't be able to drive home, and then offered to drive me home. There was NO WAY I was getting into a car with this guy, nevermind letting him know where I live, so I told him it's my rule never to take a ride home from someone until I really know them. He told me he respected that, and walked me to the subway. He hugged me and told me that he had a really good time and would like to do it again sometime soon. I gave him a half smile and nod, and bolted for the subway.

I felt SO bad he spent so much money on the Leafs tickets, but like my friends told me, taking me to something like that on a first date was hoping for A LOT, and it was his choice to ask me, so I shouldn't feel bad.

He hounded me for a few days following the game, but I just ignored him (such a guy move, I'm aware - I HATE telling guys I'm "just not that into them" because they never take it well) and eventually he went away.

I think it's safe to say that I will only go to hockey games with friends from now on.

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