The Lawyer

This is just another instance of how I need to trust my instincts. I had two previous dates with this guy, and both had gone decently, but were not anything fantastic:

Date #1: Met at Finn McCool's. He walks up to me and the first thing I think is A) dork and B) WAY too clean cut for me. We sit down and have a couple drinks. He talks a lot. He pays for our drinks (which is more than I can say for most guys I've gone on a date with). The date ends relatively early (7 pm?) and he offers to drive me home. I decline. He leans in for a kiss and I totally duck out of it. He asks me out again and I agree.

Date #2: The Lawyer meets me at the local Firkin. He is about five minutes late and mentions that he HATES being late. We have a couple drinks. He talks a lot. He pays for our drinks and again, the date ends relatively early. He walks me home and leans in for a kiss. I make it a quick one and he tries again. I duck out of round #2. He asks me out again and my reply is, "We'll see."

I sat on the fence for quite awhile with The Lawyer. He sent me messages, e-mails, and e-cards over the Christmas holidays, as I was out of town. It got a bit stalker-ish and I became annoyed enough to block his ass. Then I felt bad and that maybe I'd judged him too soon (and believe me, I've suffered the consequences for those thoughts) so I unblocked him. He went on vacation just after my birthday and things were very quiet on the internet front without him, so when he came back and asked me out again, I agreed.

First of all, he was about half an hour late, which I thought was funny for someone who "hates to be late". He called to say he was at the parkinglot just up the street, so I had to walk up there and meet him (and no, he did not open my door for me). He talked all the way to Dave & Busters, about strange things like eyebrows and how he wore a Superman t-shirt to work to show everyone that he was the new funny guy .

We arrived at Dave & Busters and left our coats in the car so we wouldn't have to drag them around. On our bitterly cold run to the front door, he tells me he is checking out my ass (smooth). He opens the door and walks right in, without holding it open for me. He left his ID in the car, so he had to run back for it (and ran like a girl, might I add).

We walk around D&B and The Lawyer is like a kid in a candy store, getting all giddy about "whooping my ass" at all the games and telling me how much fun I was going to have. I doubted it. After playing a bunch of games, we went to the bar and had a drink. Now here's a tip off to all you men: if we're not looking at you while you talk, we're JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! I stared at the tvs, the rows of booze behind the bar, something...anything to keep me from looking at him. At one point I rolled my eyes and caught the bartender having a good chuckle at me. Apparently I wasn't very good at hiding my disdain for The Lawyer :-/

He continuously tells me he is 'taken'. I ask, "By whom?" and he replies, "By you!"
I laugh at him, not with him.

I was willing my card to run out of credits and by some miracle, it did. He drove me home and I attempted to get out of a kiss by telling him I was just getting over the flu (which I was), but he tells me that getting sick is worth the price of kissing me. Dammit.

He pulls up in front of my place, unbuckles his seatbelt and leans over. I give him a quick kiss on the lips and launch myself out of the car. The following conversation occurs:

TL: (shouting) Come ON! Don't I get some tongue?! (Oh yes he did)
Me: No.
TL: I waited long enough for this date, I deserve some tongue!
Me: No.
TL: Come back here and kiss me like you mean it!
Me: No.
TL: Come ON!
Me: Next time, I promise! (Oh yes I did)
TL: (big smile) I'll hold you to that! Okay, have a good night, gorgeous! (vomit)

The next afternoon he left me an MSN message telling me that if my plans for the evening ended early, to give him a call and we could catch a late flick or something. I didn't answer. Then he leaves a message on my phone, and I quote:

"Hey it's TL - wondering if you got my message on MSN. If your thing is over early-ish today i thought that maybe you'd wanna hang out with me if you have nothing better to do. Lord knows I don't. My whole life revolves around you and nothing else. And so I'm not going to anything at all, not even leave my house until the next time I see you.

Anyways, give me a shout later if you're out early I've got to hit a friends but I can leave pretty much anytime around 8, 9, 10 o'clock, whatever. So if you want to catch a late show or have a beer or just smack me, that's fine too. Just gimme a shout and we'll see what we can do because I won't be too far from you."

Ugh! Need I say more? And he's been hounding me all day with MSN messages. I have a feeling this one won't go away without a fight.

1 comment :

  1. Anonymous8:43 AM

    OMG! What a DORK! I just don't understand where these guys come from? the moon? are they so oblivious to the lack of interest, or the look of pain all over your face?